Jon Dawson: Walmart greeter scares pregnant woman into labor
“We had a pallet of expired Mt. Dew out back.”
Jon Dawson: Utility costs force man to live in dog house
Dog catches fleas from his owner.
Jon Dawson: Marijuana confiscated in Kinston put to good use
“We formed a committee and sent them on fact finding missions in Las Vegas, New Orleans, and The Bahamas.”
Jon Dawson: King’s offering snow cream/slaw hybrid for limited time
This is not your parent’s slaw.
Jon Dawson: For all the morons who watch their phones on full blast in public
Emily Post would have a seizure just trying to make it through an appetizer.
Jon Dawson: Santa’s tariff fees leave millions stunned
“The elves unionized a few years ago.”
Jon Dawson: Top employee promoted to meaningless position
“The man was lured out of the bathroom with a Dorito-flavored vape.”
Jon Dawson: Kinston man to make WWE debut in November
“They continued selling livestock during the wrestling match.”
The Bucklesberry Gazette 